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Deviation Actions
Still no increase in hours, stuck feeling like a dog chasing its tail when asking "well talk her." "have you talked to him?" "talk to her"... Round and round and round we go...
Labour market still shit...
Watching money go down and down...
Fighting some bug...
No progress with story, lost all confidence in myself as a writer, like anyone cares anyway though...
Keep seeing evidence of how shit with friends I am...
And how I simply can't resist temptation and should know to leave well enough alone...
Labour market still shit...
Watching money go down and down...
Fighting some bug...
No progress with story, lost all confidence in myself as a writer, like anyone cares anyway though...
Keep seeing evidence of how shit with friends I am...
And how I simply can't resist temptation and should know to leave well enough alone...
Cranium Extractium
*Having managed to finally extract cerebrum from anus* ...fucking talk to people Marcus... they're not psychic. Explain when and why you might need time for your own projects... And stop being so fucking paranoid about sharing stuff you like, as well as aware of not going on endlessly about them with people who want to talk about other things...
...Think I'm done.
...Can't write anything worthwhile, like things that don't fit in with what others like, struggle to step back from ideas properly to accept suggestions, constantly ending up hurting people who I have no right to have as friends... Constantly thinking about how I failed Rob... ...Just dunno if I can find it in myself to be whoever the fuck I'm supposed to be...
Not coping...
...I, I wish I was dead - okay, there I said it... I'm not coping with him being gone, the grief is ruining everything: my relationships with friends that weren't in great shape to begin with, my perception of myself (again not great to begin with), my ability to have fun... ...Maybe I'll stay on DA, but dunno...
...
... 😔 Sorry... Sorry for the black cloud I carry around with me all the time, sorry for not being strong enough not to bother other people with my problems, sorry for being selfish and insensitive way too much of the time, sorry for being a waste of space and resources... just yeah sorry for everything...
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Comments2
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*sighs hugging tight* sorry yahell tanked at such a bad moment last night...